FlashBacks & Reflections Part ONESome flashbacks from te sadiest thing that happened.
December 2007, my dearest grandmother left us. However, sometimes i can still feel her presence. To think of that, she had left us for 6 months! Actually, i quite missed her. I would like to meet her. Lets wait for me to age and meet her in the netherland.
Sometimes, i would think of that classmate who had died during an accident cos the previous week, he is still alright and also borrowed a pencil from me to do hes maths work. The next moment, hes dead. Is this fated? I wonder..
I'm currently finding the 'real' me within the many of the 'fake' me. I think that the current 'me' isnt the true 'me' but why do i have a 'fake' me even though i was behaving like usual..? or is it that i've been thinking too much? i think i shall not think too far.. I shall just focus on my studies and use some of the free time to think and write some good post. I'm wondering why most of my post doesnt even hold a single meaning. Maybe i've been using the 'fake' me to write without thinking.. And those childish chatbox post is written by another 'fake' me... Fortunately, i'm currently using the 'real' me to write this blog entry.. Its kinda confusing but...
The 'real' me is avoiding reality.. Unable to accept the truth behind all sorts of questions.. couldnt accept the fact that my grandma actually left me without a farewell.. couldnt accept that i'm alone in ITE.. couldnt accept the fact of MOST of the things.. Just couldnt accept them.. I'm struggling.. trying to refuse to accept all those answers.. trying to replace them with mine.. but.. its futile.. its USELESS even though i've tried ten, hundreds, thousands, millions, BILLIONS times! It's completely futile.. Fate is already decided.. I just cant change it.. or shall i leave things as they are and continue with life?
Ok.. Stop the flashbacks & reflecting.. Continue next vacation :)
